Decide Why You’re Really Gathering
those who have come before us form the meeting to address their unique problem, but the form easily turns into a sense of identity and belonging, muddying the meeting’s purpose.
- don’t hold on to tradition to the detriment of our needs
- ichi-go, ichi-e—one meeting, one moment that will never happen again
- let purpose become a decision filter
- have a disputable purpose
- if you want chill, visit the Arctic
Close Doors
- thoughtful exclusion can define a gathering
- think: who fulfills purpose, and who threatens purpose?
- diversity is a potentiality that needs to be activated
- always seeking more diversity can be to the detriment to the host
- interesting conversation isn’t enough, make groundbreaking breakthroughs
- 8-12 people perfect
- meeting location can dembody a purpose/identity
Don’t Be a Chill Host
- the host has power over their gathering, careful not to let anyone exercise power in a manner inconsistent with your gathering’s purpose
- authority is an ongoing commitment
- give all of your guests a protected turn
- have strong and confident authority, but run gathering selflessly, for the sake of others. embody generous authority.
- protect your guests
Create a Temporary Alternative World
- pop-up rules: democratized rules for gatherings that is subject to change on a meeting by meeting basis. allows people to gather because they are different—yet open to having the same experience.
- in contrast to etiquette, which allows people to gather because they share the same set of unspoken, unclearly-expressed, rules
- perpetually distracting, busy, and stressed-out is the student life. remove the clutter and simplify the gathering. (no phones!!)
- do one thing, and focus on it.
Never Start a Funeral with Logistics
- a gathering begins when people learn of it
- bring something? read something beforehand?
- a gathering is a social contract, it is good to set clear the expectations of the host and the members
- the name matters
- attention is the highest at the outset, set the opening right
- opening - pleasant shock therapy
- let guests greet and acknowledge each other - think worship
- embody the very reaon you felt moved to bring a group of human beings together